Lesson 3

Class 3-A Comprehensive Course In Effective Mentoring For Disciples 
1. Definition of Mentoring–  It is a proven approach to drive rich learning and development for both mentees and mentors. Advise or train;

The Effective Mentoring For Disciples class provides an overview of basic skills and concepts that may contribute to effective mentoring relationships. After summarizing what makes a mentoring relationship successful, the class reviews ten recommended principles of mentoring, from setting realistic goals and expectations, to giving mentees a voice and choice in deciding christian discipleship mentoring activities.
To equip mentors with an understanding of skills and principles that may contribute to successful mentoring relationships

What are the qualities of an effective mentor for disciples?
This class describes 10 important features of successful mentors’ attitudes and styles: 1. Be a friend. 2. Have realistic goals and expectations. 3. Have fun together. 4. Give your mentee a voice and help them find their gifts/talents. 5. Be positive. 6. Let your mentee express what the two of you talk about. 7. Listen. 8. Respect the trust your mentee places in you. 9. Remember that your relationship is with the student, not the students family members. 10. Remember that you are responsible for building the relationship.
1. Be a friend Mentors are usually described as “friends.” But what does that mean? What makes someone a friend?
The reality is that mentors have a unique role in the lives of children and youth. They are like an ideal older sister or brother— someone who is a role model and can provide support and gentle guidance. They are also like a peer, because they enjoy having fun with their mentee.
2. Have realistic goals and expectations. Strong mentoring relationships do lead to positive changes in youth. These changes tend to occur indirectly, as a result of the close and trusting relationship, and they often occur slowly over time
Focus on the whole person and his or her overall development.
3. Have fun together.
Having fun breaks monotony, provides time away from a tense home situation, or introduces them to experiences they would not otherwise have.
4. Give your mentee a voice and help them find their gifts/talents.
This helps to build your friendship: It demonstrates that you value your mentee’s ideas  and input and that you care about and respect her or him. Help your mentee develop decision-making and negotiation; This also helps you to listen and find out what their skills, gifts and talents are in life.
5. Be positive. Be optimistic about your relationship with your mentor/mentee relationship.
6. Let your mentee express what the two of you talk about.
Help the mentor to stand on their own and make good decisions for themselves and for others. Because the decisions they make today effects them tomorrow.
7. Listen. Do just what this statement SAYS listen as a MENTOR.
8. Respect the trust your mentee places in you.
When your mentee does begin to talk to you about personal matters, be supportive. If you respond by lecturing or expressing disapproval, he or she is very likely to avoid mentioning personal matters in the future. Instead of seeking support and help from you, so make sure you build TRUST with your mentee.
9. Remember that your relationship is with the student, not the students family members.
A mentor’s relationship with the youth’s family can be a crucial factor in determining the success of a match. It could affect whether your mentee perceives the relationship as meaningful and sees you as a reliable ally and, ultimately, whether you and your mentee meet frequently and over a long period of time. It is essential that you not become involved in family issues.
10. Remember that you are responsible for building the relationship.
Building a relationship cannot be rushed. During the early period, when you and your mentee are getting to know one another, you may have to be particularly patient and persistent as you work to establish the foundation of a meaningful friendship, one that could ultimately help lead to positive changes in your mentee’s life. Remember you are the Mentor and in the end you want to help make positive life changing results for your mentee. So, put them first and not yourself and you will be a great mentor for the mentee!

Reading/Thinking Session
The Mentoring Relationship Cycle Mentors have an easier time getting through trouble spots in their mentoring relationships if they understand the basics of the typical match “life cycle.” All matches go through a similar set of ups and downs and you will have an easier time working with your mentee and getting appropriate support from staff if you know what to expect.

The four main stages of mentoring relationships are:
1. The beginning
2. Challenging and testing
3. “Real” mentoring
4. Transition (toward closure)

The first two stages are critical as they lay the foundation for what the relationship will eventually become. If mentors are to be successful, they need to work through the difficulties presented early on so that the match gets to a place of trust and mutuality where “real” mentoring can take place.

Effective Mentoring For Disciples Quiz
Answer the following questions
1. Think about yourself when you were the same age as your mentee. Was there an adult (other than a parent) whom you especially enjoyed spending time with? What were the qualities of that person that made him or her special to you?
2. What are three or four qualities you have that are going to help you be a great mentor?
3. Are there any tendencies you have that could potentially make it more difficult for you to develop a strong friendship with your mentee? (For example, do you like to talk a lot more than you like to listen?) What will you do to overcome those tendencies?
4. Think about the moment when you are going to meet your mentee for the first time. How do you think she or he will feel? What do you imagine she or he will be thinking?
5. Imagine you have just told an acquaintance that you have become a mentor. That person says to you, “What is a mentor?” What would you say? How would you describe your role?


Write a 250 word Essay on how  The Effective Mentoring For Disciples class will positively help you as a Mentor and also your Mentee.